If you ever see this veiw....you're FUCKED. You are in for a world of sick disgust the likes you have never seen before. Turn back!!
This city is an ugly shit fuck littered with death garbage and smoke butts. A dome of depression and hatred. The brown suicide river flows fast with the piss and shit flushings from Timmy guzzling construction crews and stay at home moms of 3. There is nothing here for anyone. I havent seen the color green in months. Just grey. I wake up depressed and it snowballs throughout the work day. At hometime I just want a bed. The commute home is 30 minutes of resisting the urge to drive off a cliff. But therre isnt one. Just flat boring straightaways. Oh its OK. Theres a liqour store.
These are my happy pills.
They help keep me positive through the winter when daylight is at a low and feelings of depression are crane high.
Whenever I see grey cloudy skies and shit stained snow I just pop one of these pills and wait.
Wait for a day when the Sun sets after 8pm.
Wait for a day when I get to see green again.
Wait for a day when temperatures soar past +20.
I feed my body with vitamin D in an attempt to convince myself that I've fleed to find a better space.
Is it working?
Fuck I hate this place.
Just kill me. Please.
And here's why:
Edmonton is a city that sucks the joy out of you while leaving you with nothing but debt and tears.
Please save yourself, don’t move here.
As answered here:
Sit down TIN Town and listen up, it's time for a reality check.
If you live here, chances are you're stuck in Fake Life.
A life where every single fucking day is a struggle against not only the elements but every idiot tinner out there just waiting to FUCK up your day.
You tell yourself every day it's not that bad just to get by. It's not THAT cold. The air doesn't stink THAT much There's not THAT much garbage, shit n piss all around. Oh hey, I just got threatened to get beat up cause ____________, that's normal! Other cities are like this too right?
The excuses pile up as high as the landfill and you suddenly come to a breaking point and don't know what's normal anymore.
It's a daily routine of acceptance that the shittiness is A-OK. This is just life I guess.
If you've allowed that shit to be your norm, you're stuck in Fake Life mode.
Living in Fake Life is a very serious condition and if left untreated can lead to Tinnitus or even worse, Tinnerism.
If you have any of the following symptoms your should seriously consider treatment:
The #1 treatment if you feel any of these symptoms is to immediately head West. Leave the TIN behind and find yourself some Serenity FAST.
And while heading West is the #1 recommendation for getting out of Fake Life, if you are unable to escape it physically, there is an alternative...
Hoot & drink till the symptoms retreat.
Picture yourself in a new landscape.
I've been really depressed lately and feelin like shit. You see the snow? To our loyal fans who need that hate and that release from the fuck off of everyday EdmonTIN ass shit. I am back and here for you. Check the new smash hit single remix redo suck me DJ Hatred mix off the new album:
Here it is, the great line that divides serenity from soul sucking TIN.
Everything east of this line is TINfected by smoke stacks, pump jacks, gas guzzlers, booze bingers, piss, shit, grey n' gross.
But this line isn't so cut and dry. And it moves.
Take a look at this area around Jasper.
Day by day TIN is leaking into the land of the serene.
And TIN spills are hard to clean up. Once it gets in, it takes over the landscape. Trees turn into street lights and mountains become future parking lots.
It's this border territory where TIN has seeped in that's hard to figure out.
There's this zone exists between the TIN fault line and the Serenity Line.
You know you've reached it because the weight of a thousand suns lifts off your shoulders and you start to feel alive again. Then you hear it. The nature. And you feel it. Purity.
But then there's this middle ground where you know you're out of the TIN but not quite in serenity. You feel indifference as you watch cranes fly among cranes. Your head starts spinning like you've been huffing paint on 118 all day.
And coming back, you sure as fuck know when you're approaching the TIN divide cause all you feel is complete and utter depression sinking in. Another trip over. Back to the daily GRRRRINNNDDDD. Clocking in. Working. Meetings. Honking. Gluh-gluh-gluh-gluh-glug. FUCK!!!
So what is it?
In town for a visit? Well here's a list of MUST DO'S in the Edmonton area:
Laid off - 4:30 a.m
Prairie girl: Can’t sleep, applying for work and just can’t get these thoughts out of my head. It all makes sense. I drink because I live here and I live here because I drink. Well not anymore.
Step 1 - It is time for me to cut out the depressing life that everyone here is accustomed to. No more drinking for me! People ask me “then what will you do?” I will write a review on Edmonton Sucks. That’s what I’ll do.
I will explain myself and express my feelings to why I believe I drink. Why we find it so easy to lift the bottle and how the encouragement surrounds us. The rant of all rants to help me stop drinking, so I can move out of this shithole place I once called home.
It’s just too common to drink daily in this City. Population of 928,182 and our Northern lives are based around drinking, work camps, and eating red meat. I am tired of this old fashion Wild Wild West lifestyle. It can’t get any worse, can it? Then you start to notice the change in people and none of it makes sense. The men treat their bodies as an ink pad to suppress the reality or their lives. They either walk around fat thinking they are big and rough or pump themselves full of roids acting as if we should thank their genetics. DUDE it’s obvious you are on roids. They spend their time drinking and doing mass amounts of cocaine. Walking around in the cold with their heads held high, while they are truly hiding behind their beards. They party hard (too hard) to make a statement “I am a MAN” but then allow the girls to treat them like work horses.
The worst part is, these women are now able to convince these troubled men to get vasectomies. uhhh!!! Somehow she has convinced her work horse to become a gelding. If she leaves you at 45, good luck being the lucky guy who gets the girl in her 20’s. She won’t want you for her looks and now your parts are useless. If you were another animal a human would put you down for being sterile. Man oh man. The “ladies” here, I believe overindulge in the same lifestyle but then act as if they are a special affirmation to society.
It’s almost as if everyone has given up but clearly pretend they haven’t. At age 21 the Edmonton women start to change by gaining mass amounts of weight due to extreme partying. At this point they are drinking daily. So they group together and make excuses saying “how dare you that’s fat shamming, omg I have a Kardasian body, thick is in, that bitch is too skinny but she better not mention my weight, let’s do more shots, shots, shots”.
Edmonton has changed so much in the past 10 yrs. There are now two different herds of women here who try to fit in.
1st type - A cake face, fat ass, hair extensions, fake nails and eye lashes type. Clothes so tight they might burst as the seams but she calls it trendy. Brags about all her tender dates, but really she’s just whore. Justifying not showering that day she won’t sleep with him but we all know she does. Then spends the day wondering why he won’t respond to her texts. Sloppy seconds just linger between her legs. Then she starts gaining an extra 10 pounds a year because it’s cool to be bigger. Before you know she’s 180lbs 5”4. I am women hear me roar!
2nd type - complete opposite washes once a week because she wants to save the environment, or even better now you just bath at the accidental beach. Expresses ones independent self by growing hairy legs and armpits while leaving a greasy shine on everything she touches. It looks like she lives in a box and can’t afford the simple necessities but really rent is $1,600 a month to live in a micro apartment that has a sign “Apple Products Only Please”. Her style of clothing is dirty looking and she smells like musky hemp oil but somehow she gets a job over those who are laid off while refusing to shower on a daily basis. The men have cleaner natural beauty. Equality and World Peace! I think to myself thank the heavens I’ve been blessed with the experience of traveling to a few other places in the world (Vancouver, Toronto, USA, Italy, Mexico, London) and I see that these places don’t live like this. So I have hope. They don’t base their life goals and expectations on the best fried food, craft beer, drugs, and adding more ink.
Yes, I see the interest in trying something new but the problem is the SHEEP mentality is too strong. I constantly hear “what you don’t drink craft beer, I’m vegan, nice beard dude mad respect, I don’t judge, we support local and excuse me feminist rights!” The truth is majority of them don’t believe in any of that shit. The biggest bullshit is that they do judge. They judge those who don’t follow the herd. They tell themselves “I’m somebody important, cool and different!” but if you look close enough you see ED (Edmonton Depression). For those of us who aren’t in the herd, they judge as if we haven’t realized it yet. As if we are missing something. They treat us like this because we choose not to follow the herd. I have my own way of doing things and I personally prefer my way over theirs. WHY? Edmonton sucks and the worst part is.... it’s getting worse.
Step 2 – fuck it, I NEED A DRINK!
-Someone Stuck in TIN