Just saw on the news that Edmonton has cockroaches now. Cockroaches in Edmonton... Are you fucking kidding me? So now not only do I have to contend with the crushing depression that is winter and the shit brown pollution ridden excuse for a summer in this shit city, but now I gotta deal with these fucking turd cockroaches? This place just keeps getting WORSE! FUCK Edmonton sucks!
I hate winter. I really do. More than I hate this city. But yesterday I realized some shit. A thick frozen slab of ice covered by some white snow looks better than this shit brown river we have. Has anyone ever been or seen pictures of where this fucking river starts? Google it. It is a magnificent place. And by the time it reaches this construction ridden city the cleanliness has long but vanished. Only to be replaced by shit, piss, grease, every chemical imaginable and suicidal corpses. Shall we go for a swim?
Throw back another bottle while you think about that green landscape you saw once in some heavenly dream.
Those don't exist here. Welcome to the city of Edmonton, our new motto: Plow it, drill it, pave it, build it up.
You drink cause you live here and you live here cause you drink. Living in Edmonton is like being trapped in a tin box full of liqour that you have to drink your way out of but then can't get out cause you're drunk as fuck on tin.
Just knock another one back while you try to remember what it feels like to laugh, step into that Hemi shit box nut truck and run over somebody's ass, or a kid, or a house.
Don't recycle, drink, drive, repeat.
Hi there. My name is Komatsu. I am an earth killing gas guzzling remover of serenity. If something organic is growing in EdmonTIN I need to know ASAP. My big front scoop will put an end to it. You can contact me at paveEVERYTHING@fucktheplanet.tin
Down to one lane again. And when you creep your rust bucket up to the back hoe theres 6 pigs digging a hole. But not digging a hole. Nope. 3 talking about the Oilers. 2 talking about the Eskimos. 1 eatimg chips. All 6 of em smoking. #Albertaweak
What the fuck? It was +25 two days ago with heat stroke taking it all in and now it's nearly snowing. Going to be frost on my car tomorrow morning no doubt. Kiss that green grass goodbye and say hello to brown shit stain Tinville dead grass, roads full of gravel rocks flying fuck me up with a boulder through my windshield and just fucking end it for me I can't fucking take this shit. Seriously, fuck this place!
I am so lucky to drive by this eye sore every fucking day while my lungs are poisoned with fumes and nose is finger blasted with the stench that is this garbage city. Pave it, burn it, throw it away, rape the environment and have a nice day. GO INDUSTRY! My god Edmonton sucks.
If you see a field and need it removed just call 411. Either that or wait 2 days and there will be 2 cranes and a few dick fucks stacking the tin gurders high as the eye can see. Blocking the sun as the bunnies and woodland creatures alike scurry to the adjacent roads only to be squashed by a 2016 Chevy dually quad power Hemi gagantuan box Ford power stroke diesel tow a fucking planet gas guzzler 8.4 litre suck me off fuck truck. Fuck this city!!
WOW sure isn't taking long to get fresh examples on this shit. Drove home from work through the construction maze that is the Henday, which also makes me sick but not the point of this post.
So I"m driving home and a good pace, and this fucktard coming from behind figures it's a good idea to go 40km/h faster than everyone else on the god damn road and swerve between me and the car in the other lane.
This prick nearly clipped my bumper and put me off the road. Piece of shit!
Not more than 2 minutes later another asshole tries pulling the same move to the car behind me and forces him into the shoulder. ARE YOU KIDDING ME???
Eventually he passes the car behind me and is on my ass and can't wait the 10 seconds it would take for me to change lanes and let him by.
NOPE this Edmontonian needs to get by me RIGHT NOW so passes me on the shoulder, sending rocks right at my car in the process.
Fuck this place.